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Sunday, June 27, 2010

I'll try my best to hold back my tears if i wanna cry.

► the laughter, ▌▌ the memories, █ the pain, ◄◄ the happiness
WARNING: SUPER LONG POST!
I'm gg to court now. This time i'm sure my court date won't postpone again.
Either imprisonment or probation hostel. Today is the date i know Baby for two years also the date i go to court. So dramatic, i really can't believe my life is so dramatic. Last two years we know each other at lan. Actually not at lan, is at block 600plus. I didn't see him as i'm busy chasing monkey with yexian. That time, my hand is wearing bell. So, when i walk the bell will have the sound ''linglingling.'' When i walked pass him, i didn't notice him because i don't know him at all. Along the way to lan, Renjie pulled my hair for lot of time, he told Renjie don't disturb me. When we reach outside lan, yexian and i can't go in because we're wearing uniform so he volunteer to give us one shirt to wear but i pretend i didn't see and take Jacket from Jinhui. When we were slacking at the staircase, i'm thirsty. He asked me i want what drink, i answered him ''Green Tea'' and he take out a 1.5litre Green tea from his big bag. After that i asked him you got chocolate, he take out a ferrero rocher from his bag. I still remember i said to him: your bag look like mamashop. This's why ferrero rocher is our love token. (;
Aftermath, Peiyun wanna eat so we went to Plaza. Along the way, i saw him walk alone. I tap his shoulder and said ''why you so sian'' chat all the way till plaza. Monkey keep disturb me, and i hide behind him. Oh ya, outside minitoons. I disturb an auntie and she said i'm crazy. Everyone laughed.
There's lot of times, i touch till his hand but i don't know. I still rmb don't know what on earth happen, i grab his hand and run. I also don't know why i grab his hand. Aftermath, we gg to eat. He take number from me, i don't know how to reject so i give him. Chat on the phone and next day stead. Our story begin like this. (; Simple to say, he's attract by my bell. So fast two years liao.
I'm afraid of being alone w/out Aunty Ang, Baby and Friends.
Now, i understand what's the real meaning of friend support and especially family support. In the past, i thought i can survive by myself without any family support but i realise i'm wrong. Family support is the most important, w/out them i feel so miserable.
I used to hate my mom and my sis for several reasons but now i don't hate them anymore. I don't know why, maybe is because i've learned everyone made mistake and i should forgive them willingly.
I'm afraid of many stuff. If i come out, can i get a good job? Will they employ me and etc. At this point of time, i should learn to be brave enough to face all the concequences i should face. Crying won't help, Lovelle Wong. Almost all of my friends said that my character is strong, but i don't think so. Perhaps, i'm just acting strong infront of them. I really can't imagine what's my reaction when i heard my verdict. I'm glad that Aunty Ang took leave from work to actually accompany me to court.
Although, sometimes i complaint to Baby about her. Now i think back, she really treat me damn good. Compared with my mom, she's 100000x better than my mom. Two years back, she dislike me always scold me, give me face but now she didn't. She treat me better than last time. When i do something wrong, she'll be there to nag at me. When i'm helpless, she'll be there to give me advices. When i don't have money, she'll be there to lend me money. When i don't have food to eat, she'll treat me eat. When i at home got nothing to eat, she'll buy instant noodles to keep at home. When i'm sick, she'll take good care of me. When i repeat my mistake alot of times, she'll forgive me w/out complaints. When i'm at lockup, she'll bail me out. When i attend court, sometimes she'll accompany me. When i sniff glue and caught by police, she'll be there to tell the police officer i'm still small and give me drink lots of water. When my probation office need to house visit, she'll took leave to meet my Probation Officer. When Baby is not beside me, she'll be baby subsitute and alot more........ Now we're on good terms. (:
How i hope she's my mom but its impossible. Sometimes, when Baby call her ''mummy.'' I feel like calling her ''mummy'' too, but she's not and i'm afraid she dislike it. I believe ahead of my road will be more ups and downs. I think this time i'm forced to grow up, swallowing my pride to move ahead. Maybe a big part of growing up is to deal with regrets. I really regret for what i did in the past.
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@Darren Chua: I'll bear you words in mind. Forever AKL!
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@Wanlin & Godrey: Wl, i'm afraid of your tears too, once start very hard to off. You better don't cry, or else i don't love you anymore. Don't worry about me, i'll be fine. Just treat that i go for a holiday for the sentence period. I always want to diet but always failed so this time round it'll be a passed one. Change your temper uhs, wl. Hrms, study hard too. Don't always cry, you'll be blind. Rmb, crying won't help.
Be more sweet to God, made sure he feel sweet till kena diabetics.
God, like i said just treat that i go for a holiday. You must study hard, but say no to stress. Don't put on too much stress on yourself. Rmb, when çome out i wanna see you at poly ler. (:
Okay lar, my post alr so long. I don't want to made it more long. Don't always quarrel, talk thing nicely.
God, be more patience to wanlin. Wl, be more sweet to God. Like this, peace liao lor. Lastlonggggggg!
Don't because of jealous quarrel, he/she is jealous is a good thing. You should feel happy.
Wanlin, thanks for your post and care. Luv you forever.
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@Jane Foo: I already long time didn't meet you. Come out then meet you. You and your boyf don't always quarrel, be patience. Study hard, don't always play. Don't kena case too, i very scared you'll kena case, next time you'll regret de. Be obedient uhs. Luv.
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Fyi, please don't ask why we break. Its all my bloody fault okay!

PS: SORRY FOR THE SUPER LONG POST!!!! THIS'S MY LONGEST POST. (Y) YOU ALL BETTER DON'T KENA CASE!